Pick up the phone.

I researched topics. I made a list of the Do's and Don'ts. I remembered etiquette. I was prepared. So then why was the date such a bust?

Granted, it's been only two days since the date but I've been mulling over the date for the whole weekend trying to determine what I could have done to "seal the deal" for the next date right before the awkward good-bye. Could I have been funnier? Did I make him think I wasn't interested? Did I talk too much or too little? Why hasn't he called yet? (I am well aware that the rules of who's calling whom is slightly skewed nowadays so I made an effort this morning to write him a Facebook message about a general topic that we previously conversed...so now the ball is officially in his court and I think it makes the waiting and potential outcome worse).

I've been trying to figure out why I've been so neurotic post-date. Why was I continually over-analyzing the date and the events that occurred on it? (I should have prefaced this entry by saying that I thought the date went pretty well considering my non-date history). I think the root of my neurosis has to do with my over anticipation and excitement over the date itself. I believe that my preparation, high hopes and expectations led to my current low. Maybe the date wasn't even bad, but in my mind it only appeared horrid compared to my exaggerated expectations of how the date should have ended (ie. think cheesy romance). I honestly could have seen myself dating the guy long-term and perhaps that was the exaggerated, albeit hopeful outcome. Was I hoping for that hot chemistry between us and as a result, was it blurring my judgment? I don't think I'll ever know. I do know that on paper he was amazing (and cute) and that he would have been the perfect boyfriend and that is what I am possibly most upset about.

But then again, it's only been two days. He might still call.

Regards,

James.